Flying Pink Unicorns

American-European relations

I've been thinking. President Obama will present an interesting and perhaps pleasant problem for Europe. From 2004-2006 Bush was the President Europeans (and their governments) loved to hate. Since 2007 there has been a charm offensive, meaning the administration has tried to be nicer. This has worked somewhat with the European GOVERNMENTS, but the people of Europe not so much. They are as anxious to see Bush go away and never come back as those Americans fortunate enough to live in blue states.

Fast forward to February 2009. President Obama is on a conference call with Angela Merkel, Prime Minister of Germany, Nicolas Sarkozy, the President of France, Gordon Brown, the British Prime Minister (who has severe political problems himself) and says, "ok boys and girls. We were stupid as all hell and very nasty to you to boot. We screwed up Iraq every which way but loose. We said do it our way or else, and you all said, "we won't." Well, Bush is back in Texas and you'll never see him again. You can pinch yourself, the nightmare is over. I just got elected easily. Now I'm asking you for more police and help in Iraq, and more TROOPS in Afghanistan. I know that more troops fighting in Afghanistan isn't popular in Europe. But its the right thing to do, so how about it? Yes, Sarkozy, that means troops ready to fight and die, not just look pretty. I just got through lecturing the Canadian Prime Minister about that, please don't make me repeat it. This is a good fight, a war that had to be fought, and now should be won for the people of Afghanistan. You too Gordon. Get your nose out of your own newspapers for a minute. You too Angela. 1945 was a long time ago. We're over it. Your turn.

Oh, and by the way Merkel and Sarkozy, I'm not finished with you. Bush was right about Iran. Just because he said it doesn't mean it wasn't true. We can't let those nutjobs get nuclear weapons. Remember, Paris is in range and all. Moscow and Beijing aren't going to pull our chestnuts out of the fire on this one. But if you three threaten hard sanctions on behalf of the EU unless Iran gets out of the nuclear business, and then follows through, that will get Iran's attention. No one wants another war in the middle east, but we really need to make sure the Iranian government doesn't get nuclear weapons. So how about it? Can you get past all of the anger and pain caused by Bush? I know its only been a few weeks, but how about you all get over it. I'm the American President, and I'm saying, America needs you. The world needs you. Please help us make the world safer and a better place. We'll work with you on global warming, now that the global warming deniers (the Republicans) are gone. What are your other priorities? We'll work with you. Want to see us squeeze the government in Sudan harder? Works for me. Can the 4 of us work together to strengthen the still critical European-American alliance? Or are all your words about how wonderful it was that I am president and Bush is gone just words?

Don't worry, I'm a patient man. I'll give you all 48 hours to give me a full and complete answer. :-)