Flying Pink Unicorns

I analogize to a High School prom, from the perspective of a High School boy. I wrote this in January 2007, but it still holds.

As things stand, I intend to (with LITTLE enthusiasm) to vote for Hillary in both the primary and the general. Its the prom, I want to go, and she wants to go with me. She's the neighbor's daughter, I've known her for years (decades). She's reasonably cute, and socially adept, and won't embarrass me. Sure, she's calculating and crass, and only wants to take me to the prom b/c its to her advantage. But Edwards is hideous, stupid, and would embarrass me no end, Obama is only in 7th grade, she's just to young for me to go with (maybe in 4 years, maybe), and all the others except Bill Richardson have their own SERIOUS flaws. Richardson actually makes sense, but, in the end, I don't think she'll actually last all the way to the dance. Now the girl I REALLY wanna bring is Al Gore. She's gorgeous, the Captain of the Cheerleading team, very smart, cares deeply about the local and national environment, and she's sure to be elected homecoming queen, if she'd only go to the prom. Oh, and she's HOT! I'd LOVE to walk in the room with her on my shoulder. Just imagine the ego boost! But she's off running around promoting her movie, some big concert or something, and not showing many signs of wanting to go to the prom. Oh, she bats her eyelashes at the idea now and then, but she's showing no signs of wanting to go. She hasn't bought a dress, isn't even planning to be in town on the day of the prom, and every time I mention it to her, she says, "I don't think I'm going. I haven't completely ruled it out." So do I wait around for Al, or do I go with Hillary, who is quite clear that she wants to go with me? Well, I want to go, and Hillary won't embarrass me, or even close (she'll make a good president, despite her MANY flaws), so I'll go with Hillary. Now if Gore calls me the day of the prom and says she wants to go, I'll dump Hillary like a sack of potatoes, for Gore! I LOVE YOU AL.